Headlines don't sell papes, Newsies sell papes!

And apparently...social workers write papes. A lot of them. I wish I could sell my papes like a newsboy. Which brings me to my next point...

I would like to take this time to talk about someone incredibly important to me. That someone... is Christian Bale. Now I am fully aware of the infamous lighting guy "We're done professionally!" rant and the alleged abuse he bestowed upon his mother (LIES) but even so, I just cannot shake my adoration. From Jack Kelley to Patrick Bateman, this man can do no wrong in my eyes. I think my love for Mr. Bale stems from my fascination with interesting people (other favorites include: Kieran Culkin and Matthew Gray Gubler). Who likes cookie-cutter beauty and perfection? NOT ME! I also enjoyed the fact that every time Christian won his "Best Supporting Actor" award for The Fighter this year, my inbox flooded with Congratulatory texts. As if to say I helped him win. I'd like to think I did.

I conclude this post with an anecdote. Junior year of high school, I recall walking down the halls of CHS one day with no one else in sight. Suddenly, I noticed two of my closest friends who shall remain anonymous (Stephanie and Abby) and I guess to spark a laugh, my body instantly developed a limp, I raised my arm and shouted "Nevah feah, Brooklyn is heah!" Not sure where the limp came from, but it happened. I was fully aware that my two friends loved this Newsies quote as much as I did and my expected response was that they would giggle at my weak attempt to brighten the day. However, both unnamed friends (Stephanie and Abby) said nothing. Did nothing. Turned the corner and ignored me. Perplexed, I looked around to see an entire class of kids (that must have gotten out early) directly behind me, trying to pass, but unable due to my sudden limp and shouting. This group of kids (undoubtedly seniors) looked at me in horror. I ran. I believe I was silently judged for the remainder of my high school career. Although this happened 7 years ago, it is still vivid in my mind and haunts my memory. Perhaps a career as a newsboy is not in the stars for me. Maybe I will become The Bale Family social worker instead, or maybe the nanny to this little piece of heaven: